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🔍 Common Grammar Issues
✍️ Suggested Rewrite
Intro Analysis: Hook: yes. Paraphrase: yes. Thesis: yes. Memorised: no
The comparison of the standards of cities and small towns or villages has always been a debate. Recently, teenagers choose to live in cities rather than their home villages because of school and job opportunities. This essay will discuss several reasons behind this trend and explain why the advantages of being in a city outweigh its drawbacks.
Change: The comparison of the standards of cities and small towns or villages has always been a debate.
Explanation: Added “the” before “standards” for correct article usage.
Change: Recently, teenagers choose to live in cities rather than their home villages because of school and job opportunities.
Explanation: Removed “the” before “cities” and “villages” as these are general references.
Change: This essay will discuss several reasons behind this trend and explain why the advantages of being in a city outweigh its drawbacks.
Explanation: Changed “multiple” to “several” for proper word form consistency.
There are several reasons to desire living in urban areas. Firstly, they give people an opportunity to study in better schools which cannot be found in rural areas. Since in the modern world education means so much for people’s future, it is crucial to have higher education degrees for these individuals to find well-paid jobs. In addition to that, city life provides people with completely different experiences than their home villages. Thanks to schools, work, or social gathering places, they get to meet a greater number of people from all around the country compared to their rural towns, which is crucial for one’s personal development. Lastly, in cities, not only do they get a greater number of job options, but they can also earn a larger amount of money. It is very well known that the job market is significantly limited in villages, and the current jobs barely pay enough.
Change: There are several reasons to desire living in urban areas.
Explanation: No correction needed.
Change: Firstly, they give people an opportunity to study in better schools which cannot be found in rural areas.
Explanation: Changed “it gives” to “they give” to ensure subject-verb agreement.
Change: Since in the modern world education means so much for people’s future…
Explanation: Changed “very much” to “so much” for correct expression.
Change: … it is crucial to have higher education degrees for these individuals to find well-paid jobs.
Explanation: Changed “those” to “these” for correct pronoun usage in context.
Change: Thanks to schools, work, or social gathering places, they get to meet a greater number of people…
Explanation: Removed “the” before “schools” as it is a general reference.
Change: …a greater number of people from all around the country compared to their rural towns, which is crucial for one’s personal development.
Explanation: Added a comma after “towns” to correctly separate clauses.
Change: Lastly, in cities, not only do they get a greater number of job options, but they can also earn a larger amount of money.
Explanation: Added “do” for correct auxiliary verb usage in the sentence structure.
Change: It is very well known that the job market is significantly limited in villages…
Explanation: Added “the” before “job market” for correct article usage.
Change: …and the current jobs barely pay enough.
Explanation: Added “and” to combine the sentence for a smoother flow.
It is clearly seen that the benefits of leaving villages outweigh their few deficits. It is worth mentioning that people face some issues, such as being away from their extended family, a more competitive and challenging job market, and substantially higher living costs when they move to cities. Advantages like learning and exploring new experiences, getting a better education leading to a better-paid job, and having an interesting career, however, surpass the number of drawbacks of this development.
Change: It is clearly seen that the benefits of leaving villages outweigh their few deficits.
Explanation: Added “the” before “benefits” for correct article usage and changed “its” to “their” for correct pronoun agreement.
Change: It is worth mentioning that people face some issues, such as being away from their extended family, a more competitive and challenging job market…
Explanation: Changed “worth to mention” to “worth mentioning” for correct verb form.
Change: …and substantially higher living costs when they move to cities.
Explanation: Changed “more expensive living cost” to “higher living costs” for correct expression of plural countable noun.
Change: Advantages like learning and exploring new experiences, getting a better education leading to a better-paid job, and having an interesting career, however, surpass the number of drawbacks of this development.
Explanation: Added commas for correct separation of list items and added hyphen in “better-paid job” for correct adjective-noun compound structure.
To conclude, there are various reasons for the young generation to leave their homes to live in cities, and this movement’s benefits easily outweigh its disadvantages.
Change: To conclude, there are various reasons for the young generation to leave their homes to live in cities, and this movement’s benefits easily outweigh its disadvantages.
Explanation: No correction needed.
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