Hi Jack, here is your full IELTS feedback
You submitted an IELTS Discussion Essay.
✍️ Rewritten Essay (with changes + explanations)
Children are born into the digital world. From a young age, they know how to operate computers, iPads, and TVs. It is part of their daily life. School-age children are no exception to the use of computers. They are confident users of computers and very dependent on them, which can lead to a decline in reading and writing skills. Some teachers utilize computers well in their lessons, while others avoid using computers in their classrooms. I believe a good balance of both is needed to help students’ reading and writing skills improve.
Change: “From young age” to “From a young age”, “iPad, and TV” to “iPads, and TVs”, “School age children is no exception” to “School-age children are no exception”, “a good balance of both is needed” to “a good balance of both is needed to help students’ reading and writing skills improve”. Explanation: Added the article “a” for specificity. Pluralized “iPad” and “TV” for consistency in tense. Corrected subject-verb agreement with “children are”. Clarified the phrase on balance to ensure complete expression of ideas.
Computers can help students with reading. For example, if students come across unknown words, they can search for the unknown words and hear the pronunciation. If it were not for computers, they would have to find someone who knows how to pronounce the words for them. Therefore, computers can play a positive role in students’ reading skills.
Change: “search the unknow words” to “search for the unknown words”, “If it was not for the computers, they have” to “If it were not for computers, they would have”. Explanation: Added “for” as the appropriate preposition for “search”. Changed to the subjunctive mood and corrected the tense to express hypothetical situations correctly.
On the other hand, writing skills need to be improved by lots of handwritten work. If students are using computers all the time and getting the help of autocorrection, they will not improve their writing skills. They will not know how to edit as autocorrect is doing the job for them.
Change: “On the other hands” to “On the other hand”, “lots of handwritten works” to “lots of handwritten work”. Explanation: Corrected “hands” to “hand” as it is an idiomatic expression. Changed “works” to “work” as it is non-countable in this context.
In conclusion, I believe that teachers should not allow students to do all the work on computers, especially writing tasks. However, teachers should not avoid the use of computers as they can be a great help if used effectively. Rather than avoiding computers that students are so used to, teachers need to come up with ways to use them effectively to enhance students’ reading and writing skills.
Change: “the work on the computers” to “work on computers”, “However, teacher should not avoid the use of computer” to “However, teachers should not avoid the use of computers”, “use it effectively” to “use them effectively”. Explanation: Removed unnecessary articles for clarity and correctness. Modified “teacher” to “teachers” and “computer” to “computers” for subject-verb agreement and to match plural form throughout. Added “ways to use them” for syntactic variety and clarity.
🔍 Common Grammar Issues
| Error Type | Original | Corrected | Explanation | IELTS Impact |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Articles | From young age, they know how to operate computers, iPad, and TV. | From a young age, they know how to operate computers, iPads, and TVs. | The article “a” is needed before “young age” to make the noun phrase grammatically correct; also, “iPad” and “TV” should be plural for parallelism. | Repeated article errors lower coherence and accuracy, which can bring grammar rating to Band 6 or below. |
| Subject–Verb Agreement | School age children is no exception to the use of computers. | School-age children are no exception to the use of computers. | The plural subject “children” requires the plural verb “are” for correct agreement. | Frequent subject–verb disagreement is a Band 5–6 grammar feature on IELTS. |
| Prepositions | Computers can play positive role in students’ reading skills. | Computers can play a positive role in students’ reading skills. | The article “a” is necessary before “positive role,” and “in” is the correct preposition for indicating the area affected. | Inappropriate or missing prepositions are characteristic of Band 6 writing or below. |
| Singular/Plural Nouns | writing skills need to be improved by lots of handwritten works. | writing skills need to be improved by lots of handwritten work. | “Work” is an uncountable noun when referring to tasks or assignments, so it should not be pluralized. | Misuse of countable/uncountable nouns can limit the essay to Band 6 for grammar. |
| Article/Subject Agreement | However, teacher should not avoid the use of computer as computers can be a great help if they use it effectively. | However, teachers should not avoid the use of computers, as computers can be a great help if they are used effectively. | Plural subjects (“teachers” and “computers”) are needed to match the context, and passive voice clarifies the actor for “used effectively.” | Persistent article and agreement errors reduce clarity and can push grammar down to Band 6 or lower. |
💬 Vocabulary & Tone Feedback
| Original Phrase | Better Alternative | Why This Works Better |
|---|---|---|
| from young age | from a young age | Adding “a” makes the phrase grammatically correct and more natural in formal writing. |
| iPad, and TV | tablets and televisions | Using generic terms creates a more formal tone and avoids brand names, which are less appropriate in IELTS essays. |
| School age children is no exception to the use of computers. | School-aged children are no exception to computer use. | This corrects grammar and makes the sentence more concise and formal. |
| good balance of both is needed | a balanced approach is needed | “A balanced approach” is a more formal and precise expression, improving clarity and style. |
| unknow words | unknown words | This corrects a spelling error which is important in formal writing. |
| If it was not for the computers, they have to find someone who knows how to pronounce the words for them. | Without computers, they would need to find someone who knows how to pronounce the words for them. | This version is more grammatically accurate and sounds more formal. |
| play positive role | play a positive role | Including the article “a” makes the phrase grammatically correct and more natural in a formal context. |
| On the other hands | On the other hand | The correct phrase is “on the other hand” (singular), which is the proper transition in formal essays. |
| handwritten works | handwritten work | “Work” is uncountable in this context, so singular form is more appropriate in formal writing. |
| getting the help of autocorrection | relying on autocorrect features | This sounds more formal and accurately describes the process. |
| edit as autocorrect is doing the job for them | edit their work, as this function is performed automatically by the computer | Clarifies the meaning and is more formal in expression. |
| do all the work on the computers | complete all their assignments on computers | “Complete assignments” is more specific and appropriate for academic writing. |
| teacher should not avoid | teachers should not avoid | Ensures grammatical agreement and clarity. |
🔠 Spelling Corrections
| Misspelled Word | Corrected | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| unknow | unknown | Missing “n” at the end; basic typo. |
| autocorrection | autocorrect | Incorrect form—software is usually called “autocorrect” or “auto-correct,” not “autocorrection.” |
| handwritten works | handwritten work | Unnecessary pluralization; “work” is uncountable here. |
📐 Sentence Structure Feedback
- Simple Sentences: 8
- Compound Sentences: 2
- Complex Sentences: 3
- Conditionals: 4
- Rhetorical/Stylistic: 0
Summary: The essay primarily relies on simple sentence structures, showing some limited use of compound and complex sentences as well as conditionals. There’s an absence of rhetorical or stylistic