IELTS Writing Task 2: How to Improve a Sentence Without Ruining It
Why This Matters
Examiners don’t just look at grammar and vocabulary — they look at how effectively each sentence communicates an idea. A sentence might be grammatically correct but still weak if it’s vague, generic, or underdeveloped. If you want a higher score for Task Response and Coherence, you need to make every sentence count.
Many students write sentences that are technically correct, but weak. So they try to “improve” them — and end up making things worse.
The key is to improve for clarity, not complexity.
You’re not here to sound impressive. You’re here to be precise.
Let’s look at how to fix dull or underdeveloped sentences without falling into the trap of peacock words or over-complication.
Example 1 – Add a Clear Explanation
Weak:
Children enjoy playing video games.
Why it’s weak:
It’s too general. There’s no clear link to the topic.
Improved:
Many children enjoy playing video games, but excessive use can reduce their attention span and interfere with academic performance.
Why it works:
The sentence now adds a relevant cause-effect idea. It’s linked to development, not just description.
Example 2 – Be Specific, Not Vague
Weak:
Some people think tourism is good.
Why it’s weak:
“Good” doesn’t tell us anything. It’s vague and lazy.
Improved:
Some people argue that tourism supports the local economy by creating jobs and increasing demand for services.
Why it works:
Now we’ve got a real point — not just a value judgment.
Example 3 – Expand a Basic Idea
Weak:
Libraries are important for students.
Improved:
Libraries provide essential academic resources and a quiet environment for study, helping students prepare for exams more effectively.
Why it works:
We’ve added detail and a specific benefit. This is what examiners want.
What to Avoid
Padding: Don’t add empty phrases just to sound smarter.
Peacock words: If you wouldn’t say it out loud, don’t write it.
Overcorrection: More words doesn’t mean more marks. Every sentence must do a job.
Final Advice
Improving a sentence isn’t about making it longer or fancier.
It’s about making it work harder.
Be specific. Be relevant.
Say what you mean — then stop.