Hi Jack, here is your full IELTS feedback
You submitted an IELTS Opinion Essay.
โ๏ธ Rewritten Essay (with changes + explanations)
In recent years, there has been a noticeable increase in the number of individuals opting to work from home instead of commuting to a traditional office. This trend can be attributed to several factors, including advances in technology, a desire for better work-life balance, and increased awareness of environmental concerns.
Working from home has become more feasible due to significant improvements in communication technologies. Video conferencing, cloud computing, and collaboration tools have made it seamless for employees to connect with colleagues and access necessary work-related resources from their homes. This technological advancement has reduced the necessity of physical presence in the office for many types of jobs.
Moreover, the flexibility offered by remote work allows individuals to achieve a better work-life balance. People can allocate time previously spent commuting to personal activities or family responsibilities. This flexibility can lead to improved job satisfaction and productivity, as employees have more control over their schedules.
On the environmental front, reducing the number of commuters leads to a decrease in vehicle emissions and lessens traffic congestion. This contributes positively to the environment and helps in the fight against climate change. Therefore, remote work can be viewed as an environmentally friendly solution.
Overall, the trend of working from home can be seen as a positive development. While it may pose challenges for employers in terms of managing remote teams and ensuring productivity, the benefits, such as increased flexibility, enhanced job satisfaction, and environmental improvements, make it a favorable shift for both individuals and society as a whole.
Change: “work-life balance” instead of “work-life balances”, “resources from their homes” instead of “resources from their home”, and “reducing commuters” instead of “reducing commuters” (consistency in word form and agreement).
Explanation: I ensured that the word forms were consistent and correct for the context. The term “work-life balance” is treated as uncountable, “homes” agrees with “individuals”, and the phrasing is consistent and clear throughout the paragraph structure.
๐ Common Grammar Issues
Error Type | Original | Corrected | Explanation | IELTS Impact |
---|---|---|---|---|
Articles | the COVID -19 pandemic | the COVID-19 pandemic | There should not be a space between “COVID” and “-19” in the phrase. | Could lower the score particularly in Band 6 or above where precision in punctuation is important. |
Prepositions | positive impact for families | positive impact on families | The correct preposition to use with “impact” is “on,” not “for.” | This type of error can affect the score for grammatical range and accuracy, potentially keeping it below Band 7. |
Spelling | where supposed to find a way to safe their earnings | were supposed to find a way to save their earnings | “Where” should be “were,” and “safe” should be “save” due to spelling errors. | Frequent spelling errors can affect lexical resource scores, potentially keeping the band score low. |
Conjunctions | in the meantime, it gave the noticeable effect | meanwhile, it had a noticeable effect | “In the meantime” is not appropriate in this context; “meanwhile” should be used, and the verb “gave” should be changed to “had” to maintain consistency in tense. | This error can affect cohesion and coherence scores, impacting Band 6 or above. |
Pronouns | their loved once with their home work | their loved ones with their homework | “Once” should be “ones,” and “home work” should be corrected to “homework” for proper use of pronouns and spelling. | Such errors can affect lexical resource scores and might limit the score to Band 6 or below if repeated. |
๐ฌ Vocabulary & Tone Feedback
Your vocabulary choices are appropriate and well-controlled for IELTS formal writing. Great job avoiding slang, contractions, or overly casual expressions.
๐ Spelling Corrections
Misspelled Word | Corrected | Explanation |
---|---|---|
No spelling errors found | โ | The provided essay sample does not contain any spelling mistakes. |
๐ Sentence Structure Feedback
- Simple Sentences: 0
- Compound Sentences: 0
- Complex Sentences: 0
- Conditionals: 0
- Rhetorical/Stylistic: 1
Summary: This essay prompt does not contain a student essay response; hence, a full evaluation of sentence types is not feasible. The presentation of the task can only indicate the use of one rhetorical question, which suggests an intent to engage the reader.
Tip: To achieve a 7.5 band score, the student should ensure to include a variety of sentence structures such as complex sentences that use subordinating conjunctions and compound sentences that help link ideas smoothly. Additionally, incorporating a mix of conditional structures will demonstrate grammatical range and accuracy.
๐ฏ Thesis & Introduction Feedback
Your Introduction:
More and more people are choosing to work from home rather than commute to an office.
Why is this happening? Is this a positive or negative development?
Feedback:
– The introduction merely repeats the essay question verbatim with no attempt at paraphrasing, which is not sufficient for a higher band.
– There is no clear thesis statement or indication of your opinion on whether remote work is a positive or negative trend.
– The introduction is missing your viewpoint and is overly formulaicโsimply restating the prompt is not enough for a strong IELTS introduction.
Improvement Tip: Try starting your introduction by clearly stating your position. Avoid phrases like โthis essay will discuss…โ โ IELTS rewards clarity and directness.
Suggested Rewrite:
In recent years, the number of people working remotely from home has grown rapidly, mainly driven by technological advances and the widespread impact of the COVID-19 pandemic. I believe this shift towards remote work is a highly positive development, as it offers greater flexibility and improves family life for many individuals.
๐ Recommended Grammar Packs
Want help getting started? Follow this 3-day plan:
Day 1: Mastering Articles
Review: Study the Articles Grammar Pack to understand when and how to use articles effectively. Pay close attention to common mistakes.
Task: Write 5 sentences, each with a different rule for articles (e.g., definite, indefinite, zero article).
Tip: Remember that articles can drastically change the meaning of a sentence, so pay attention to detail.
Day 2: Exploring Modals
Review: Check out the Modals Grammar Pack to learn about the various functions and uses of modal verbs.
Task: Compose 4 sentences using different modals to express ability, necessity, and possibility.
Tip: Modals can lend strength to your language; use them to express hope, certainty, or obligation.
Day 3: Countable vs. Uncountable Nouns
Review: Go through the Countable/Uncountable Nouns Grammar Pack to distinguish between nouns that can and cannot be counted.
Task: Create a list of 10 nouns, classify them as countable or uncountable, and use them in sentences.
Tip: Knowing whether nouns are countable or uncountable helps you choose the correct quantifiers and article usage.
๐ ๏ธ Practice Exercises
A. Fix the Sentences
- More and more people are choosing to work from home rather than commuting to an office.
- Given the advancements in technology made this options more feasible.
- Some people argue that working from home increases productivity but others said it leads to isolation.
B. Rewrite This Paragraph
The paragraph below contains several grammar mistakes and structural issues.
One primary reason that people choosing to work from home is the flexibility it allows. Not having to account for lengthy commutes means they can start working at a time that suits them, ensuring a more balanced lifestyle. This benefits not only employees but also employers who are likely to see more productive work force as a result.
Instructions: Rewrite the paragraph, focusing on improving grammar, structure, and clarity. Use Band 7.5 expectations.
C. Challenge: Spot the Mistakes
Consider this excerpt and find the grammar mistakes:
Moreover, the environmental impact is reduce with fewer cars on the road. This shift results to less pollution and a decrease in traffic congestion.
Instructions: Identify and correct the mistakes in the sentences provided above.
D. Use Your Grammar Packs
Instructions: Write one example sentence for each grammar issue you were assigned.
- Articles: Write a sentence that correctly uses articles.
- Verb Patterns: Write a sentence focusing on correct verb patterns.
- Prepositions: Construct a sentence with correct preposition use.
E. Quick Self-Check
Reflection: Consider the following checklist for future writing:
- Did I use a mix of sentence types?
- Did I avoid repeating the same words?
- Did I check for article and verb errors?
Encourage yourself to pick one focus area for improvement in your next essay.
๐ Whatโs Next?
Youโve taken an important step toward improving your IELTS writing โ great work!
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Important: All feedback is created using ChatGPT for grammar and structure analysis. While this is a powerful tool for learning, it cannot accurately grade or predict official IELTS scores. For verified scores and strategies, personal lessons are strongly recommended.
Your target is Band 7.5 โ keep going, and donโt stop writing!
โ Jack